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A What is a narcissistic

A What is a narcissistic

What is a narcissistic

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Narcissism is a defense mechanism that protects narcissists from uncertainties and anxiety in an uncertain world.Therefore, narcissists make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something. They simply must have that red sports car, based entirely on how they feel driving it, not by whether it is a good choice to make for the family or for the budget. If they're bored or depressed, they want to move or end the relationship or start a new business. They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs. They expect you to go along with their "solutions," and they react with irritation and resentment if you don't. The narcissist's personality is split into good and bad parts, and they also split everything in their relationships into good and bad. Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good. They deny their negative words and actions while continually accusing you of disapproving. They also remember things as completely good and wonderful or as bad and horrible. They can't seem to mix these two constructs.

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Another core narcissist trait is the constant need for attention—even just by following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention. Validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others. Even then, it doesn't count for much. A narcissist's need for validation is like a funnel. You pour in positive, supportive words, and they just flow out the other end and are gone. No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it's enough—because deep down they don't believe anyone can love them. In addition, if your words and expressions aren't congruent, the narcissist will likely respond erroneously or get defensive. This is why narcissists often misinterpret sarcasm as actual agreement or joking from others as a personal attack. The lack of ability to correctly read body language, a common narcissist trait, is one reason narcissists are deficiently empathetic to your feelings. They don't see them, they don't interpret them correctly, and overall they don't believe you feel any differently than they do.

The narcissist's personality is split into good and bad parts, and they also split everything in their relationships into good and bad. Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good. They deny their negative words and actions while continually accusing you of disapproving. They also remember things as completely good and wonderful or as bad and horrible. They can't seem to mix these two constructs.A new study from Ohio State University has found that one simple question can identify narcissists as accurately as the 40-item test that has been widely used to diagnose NPD. The question is simple, rating yourself on a scale of 1-7: “To what extent do you agree with this statement: I am a narcissist. (Note: The word ‘narcissist’ means egotistical, self-focused and vain.)” You can even try out this free interactive narcissism quiz. However, while this study suggests that many narcissists will freely admit to their narcissistic tendencies, it is important to note that most narcissists resist the diagnosis of NPD. Narcissists, generally, do not like to be told that they are narcissists. In fact, they often have a strong negative and volatile reaction. (Source: www.psychalive.org)

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Both fail to adequately develop an age- and phase- appropriate self because of defects in the quality of psychological nurturing provided, usually by the mother. The exhibitionist narcissist is the one described in DSM-IV and differs from the closet narcissist in several important ways. The closet narcissist is more likely to be described as having a deflated, inadequate self-perception and greater awareness of emptiness within. The exhibitionist narcissist would be described as having an inflated, grandiose self-perception with little or no conscious awareness of the emptiness within. Such a person would assume that this condition was normal and that others were just like him. The closet narcissist seeks constant approval from others and appears similar to the borderline in the need to please others. The exhibitionist narcissist seeks perfect admiration all the time from others.When determining whether someone is a narcissist, most people make it more complicated than it needs to be. I use the duck test—that is, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. There are no physical blood tests, MRIs, or exact determinations that can identify narcissism. Even therapists have to go on just observations of the behavior and attitudes that a person presents. So below are all the traits and behaviors that are signs of a narcissist.

Another core narcissist trait is the constant need for attention—even just by following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention. Validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others. Even then, it doesn't count for much. A narcissist's need for validation is like a funnel. You pour in positive, supportive words, and they just flow out the other end and are gone. No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it's enough—because deep down they don't believe anyone can love them. Many people lack boundaries or cross other people's boundaries regularly, but among narcissists, this is status-quo behavior. Narcissists can't accurately see where they end and you begin. They are a lot like two-year-olds. They believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do. They are shocked and highly insulted to be told no. If a narcissist wants something from you, they'll go to great lengths to figure out how to get it through persistence, cajoling, demanding, rejecting, or pouting. These are all common narcissist behaviors. Remember, NPD isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a mental health condition. When you have NPD, you do or say things that rub others the wrong way and damage relationships. Usually, this isn’t on purpose. It’s driven by deep-seated insecurity — feeling like you’re not good enough — and the need for people to think that you’re worthy. With treatment, you can learn healthy ways to boost your self-esteem and get along better with others. (Source: my.clevelandclinic.org)

 

 

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